If my initial description of coaching leaves you wanting, it’s helpful to describe what coaching is NOT. Folks often ask how coaching is different from therapy or consulting, and in Co-Active training we were given this somewhat simplistic characterization:

Therapy is a healing modality where you work with a medical professional from a clinical diagnosis perspective to understand your past to get you to optimal present function. Consulting as often experienced in our professional lives comes from someone with authority or expertise, where one person imparts their knowledge to the other. 

Coaching is focused on empowering you to get from your present to your ideal future state, working in an equal relationship, without trying to heal (therapy) or fix (consulting). Coaching is like going to a personal trainer, therapy is like going to the cardiologist. Coaching isn’t therapy, but can feel therapeutic.

The full Co-Active distinction can be found here. Or more succinctly, a metaphor I’ve heard from an instructor before:

So you want to learn how to ride a bicycle? The therapist might ask, what’s your relationship and history with bikes, when you approach the bike, what feelings come up, etc. The consultant might say, here’s a playbook on how to ride a bike, follow the steps, good luck! A coach will say, let’s get on the bike, I’ll be with you running alongside, experiencing the ride with you!

These mental models are helpful analogies but gloss over nuances. Some coaching styles may blend more mentoring or tactical advice-giving, such as with executive/work-provided coaches who draw more on their professional expertise. Others may be rooted more in philosophical or spiritual frameworks.

There are also many scenarios where a trained psychotherapist is a better choice. Since I always consider the contrarian perspective, you can read common criticisms of life coaching in this disastrous coaching AMA and the perspective of a psychologist on the coaching/therapy characterization. In truth, there are behavioral-focused therapies that don’t just diagnose the past or identify pathologies. And while there are organizations like the ICF that provide certifications, coaching is still an unregulated space that has its fair share of miracle gurus.

Coaching can come off as ‘therapy-lite’ without the strict, clinical relationship. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It allows for more personal connection and makes concepts like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) more accessible for the average person with layman’s frameworks and vocabulary. Rather than naming cognitive distortions, for example, Co-Active has clients personify their ‘saboteurs’ as a cast of characters and call them out when they start obstructing their thinking. Ultimately, coaches are not replacements for medical professionals, especially for working with trauma or mental health issues, but they’re also not mutually exclusive! Both modalities can help people grow and become more effective in their lives, and it’s important to identify which would better serve your goals.